Engagement

My change in relationship status...by Ben Hickey

Most of you know that I went on a mission trip to Ethiopia almost four years ago. I went To be a part of a ministry called Indigenous Outreach International.

The director of the ministry, Patrick Beard, goes to my church. As the name of the ministry suggests IOI supports Ethiopian pastors who are struggling to preach and also make a living. IOI provides funds so that the pastors can devote themselves to preaching and ministry without having to have multiple jobs.

One Ethiopian pastor in particular has been central to the success of IOI. His name is Negash Gemeda and he is the main overseer for IOI. Negash meets regularly with the other pastors, helps them send in reports, and does a lot of preaching and teaching himself. During my month in Ethiopia I stayed with Negash and his family.This was a great time for me.

In some respects living in Ethiopia is much harder for an American. You don’t have western style toilets, you have to filter your water, you have a greater possibility of getting sick, and so on and so on. I was all prepared for the difficulties, but what surprised me was the benefits! In particular the Ethiopian culture is much more people centered than America. Hospitality plays a bigger part of life. For example, if you go to a restaurant that is packed you don’t necessarily wait in line but you can go and sit at someone else’s table. They welcome you and you usually leave having made a new friend.

Living in Negash’s house I got to know his family. He has a daughter who is a few years younger than me. Her name is Abeba. She is a very beautiful person on the inside and out and I developed a friendship with her. When I returned to America we continued to correspond through email and our friendship developed even more. For many years I didn’t really think anything more than a friendship was possible. I could only think about the distance between us, the cultural differences, and the difficulties. Recently though, I have thought a lot about how special she is and how I want to move our relationship past being friends and onward to a deeper level. I talked to Patrick about this and he called Negash to see if she felt the same way towards me. I was very happy to hear that she had the same feelings!! Since then I have talked to the elders at my church as well as my family and many friends for counsel. The overwhelming response is very positive! Also many blessings this year have made it financially possible for me to visit.

Considering my feelings, intentions, and all of the pieces falling into place I bought a plane ticket to visit her in March (over my spring break). I have also been able to call her twice and develop our relationship over the phone instead of email. I know that this might seem sudden to many of you, but it hasn’t felt that way to me. It has been a long process to strip my doubt away and exchange it for faith and even love! (even though here at the end it seems to be happening quickly).

I would appreciate all of your prayers for safe travel and wisdom.